I’m Amanda. I’ve got wide eyes, a smart mouth, and a MetroCard. And I’m not afraid to use them.
If The Onion were a person, it would have to be my new best friend. Especially after yesterday’s hilarious story “8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live.” If you’ve lived in NYC, you know where this is going.
If you love it anyway, you know it’s one funny ride.
Here’s an excerpt:
NYC in the 1970s was spooky. The 1980s weren’t that much better. And today it’s the safest big city in the world.
Most people would call that progress, and I can’t argue. But some people - usually white kids who’d crap their pants if they ever got mugged - romanticize the danger of old school NYC.
This weekend I was going to enter the Hey, Hot Shot! 2010 photography contest, until I found out there was an $80 entry fee. I don’t really think any of my photos would have much of a chance of winning such a big contest. I’m not being negative, just realistic.
When you put money into the equation, the limit on submissions starts getting more daunting, too. You pay $80 for five chances to show that the way you’ve captured someone or something is superior to the ways thousands of other people captured someone or something. Maybe even the same someones and somethings.
I’m a bad editor. It’s hard for me to delete a photo. Sure, I know when one’s bad. But it’s hard to get rid of a flower that blew in the wind right as I snapped the picture. Beauty’s in the blur.
I love Cee-Lo.
He’s quirky and fun, and this video beats watching anyone lip-sync.
Now I would never want to deter anyone from getting an English bulldog of their own. I love the breed for many reasons - gracefulness not being one of them.
So if you spook easily at a spazzy dog, do not watch this video of Annie at my parents’ house in Texas last week.
I repeat: Do not watch this video if you can’t handle your hot dog with extra spaz, hold the ability to follow directions.
Jennifer wanted advice for her first days in NYC. Guess who else had something to share? J. David Goodman of The New York Times City Room blog!
And he asked more New Yorkers what a newbie to the city needs to know.
Here’s an excerpt:
The end (of summer) is near!
Soon the brutal heat will dissipate and the streets will flood with college students and other first-time residents of the city. On the Noisiest Passenger blog, Amanda Green, a Texas transplant, responds to a reader question about this annual immigration — “I Moved to NYC, Now What?” — with a few bits of wisdom for making a home among the bedbugs and media moguls, including: “1) Walk around your neighborhood until you get tired.” … “2) Treat yourself to a good local dinner that’s not delivery.” … “3) Take pictures.”
These are all good bits of advice for transforming the unfamiliar streets into something more personal.
But what about adding a few more items, more geared toward understanding the city’s culture and knowing how to navigate its contours like a local. To wit:
1) Being a hipster is “over,” so you’ll have to think up some other use for those skinny jeans and distended V-necks.
2) Photographic evidence of past subway riding by celebrities aside, you are unlikely to stumble upon A-list celebrities on the train.
Read the rest of “What New New Yorkers Need to Know” here.
Big thanks to the The New York Times for the mention!
I need to review my records, but I believe next week is my moving to NYC anniversary. Five years, baby!
That’s five years. At least four different hair colors. Three apartments. Four full-time jobs. Three bad break-ups.
Countless heart swelling, “This is where I’m supposed to be” moments. A significantly smaller number of “I’m over this” moments. (Most of those involved apartment woes, I think).
Here’s a question from Jennifer:
I am moving to NYC tomorrow from Texas. I have wanted to move there since the first time I visited and have lived here for my whole life. I am so incredibly emotional and nervous, thank God my sister is going with me for a few days. I will be going to grad school starting the 30th. Any advice for the first few days of wtf am I doing?
My response:
I’m playing Bananagrams with Alexa, the five-year-old I’ve started babysitting a few times a month. The five-year-old who once threw herself on the sidewalk when I wouldn’t take her to the ice cream truck.
We’re turning over tiles to make words. As I help with her pile, I ask if she’d like to see the words I’ve made. Among them, I’ve got “use” and “glum” and “id.”
Alexa: What is “id”?
A pigeon’s got to be pretty sick to let a person with a camera get this close.
I have a propensity for interesting interactions with strangers. My college boyfriend thought it was the product of being a young, wide-eyed blonde who made too much of things. Another person I dated figured I was a redhead hunting for something to write about.
But no, I really do think there is something about me that makes some people - usually men, I can admit it - open up. (Also: I’ve decided to leave my hair alone for the time being).
