“Men love me cause I’m pretty and they’re always afraid of mental wickedness; and men love me cause I’m clever and they’re always afraid of my prettiness. One or two have even loved me cause I’m lovable, and then, of course, I was acting.”
-Zelda Fitzgerald
At times, I’ve suspected I am easy to fall in love with. I’ve never gone on a first date with a guy who didn’t want a second date. I’ve never wondered why he didn’t call. Of course, I don’t waste my time on guys that do not at least initially intellectually stimulate me. Maybe there’s a little more selection involved in who I choose to go out with, so maybe that’s why I’m maintaining this favorable statistic.
All I know is that I have dated some really nice guys who were very straight-out-of-a-romantic-comedy that just didn’t do it for me. I’d be attracted for awhile, but then get over it. One day the guy would innocently do something, like re-tell a story or mispronounce a word or admit he liked Armageddon, and I’d be so disgusted. I’d move onto having fun with the next wrong guy. Not wrong because he’d beat me or something. Wrong because I wouldn’t ever reciprocate the feelings he had for me.
But now I have dated the same person for almost three years. Three years - that’s a small child that can walk and talk! Sam is different from all the other guys. He dresses in an original and interesting way. His small gestures of love rock my soul. He writes me email poetry like this:
“you put up with me the way a vending machine finally accepts
that less than perfect bill.
i feel like i’ve been standing here for so long
expecting this kind of treatment.
i’m not offering poor value, but i’ve been spit out over and over
like my tears were all i could ever be.
thank you for the sharp corners to straighten me out.”
Sam is supportive and the reason for countless successes I’ve had. I can have a vision, and he will help me execute it in ways I never thought possible. For Sam’s ego’s sake, I must mention that he is still a flawed person. His puns are atrocious. But he is a most marvelously lovable human being. Magic follows him. The first time I told him I loved him, it was snowing. In Texas. Where it never snows. I had known long before on plenty of sunny days, but it was the perfect time.
Now is the perfect time to say how much I love him (but can I?). How different he is from everyone I have ever known. How sometimes I suspect I could grow old with him. Miles may come between us, but I’m determined to do my best to hang onto him. Even the puns.
I love you, Sam.
