*One of my favorite pieces of writing, because I think of this all the time. I’m going back and forth right now between updating this blog and making things for my classroom. Happy Labor Day to me!
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Oops! I forgot to…
study abroad…find my best girlfriend ever…evolve a style…grow up…
Those magnets always puzzle me. You’ll find them in shops on South Congress and independent bookstores. A sassy sketch of a thirtyish woman unapologetically mock-exclaims, “Oops! I forgot to get married!” or “Oops! I forgot to have children!” Sometimes it’s just a button with simple text, but the same message.
It makes it sound so easy for a woman to get caught up living the independent, modern life, despite the fact that almost everything (the media, society, ourselves) keeps reminding us that ahem, we have some rites of passage coming up. Time to check something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue or pink or yellow off the list.
Today I had to reluctantly ward off my lunchtime food coma and run some errands. As I walked the breezeway area of the UGL, I thought, “You know, this is my favorite breezeway on-campus.” I love when it’s windy and the breezeway is so cool. During rain, you can close your umbrella there or at least hold it open at your side. You can also check out your reflection as you pass. I’ve glanced at this quickly every time I’ve walked the breezeway for the last three years. I’m not vain. I’m habitual. I like when I see people glance up from their Calculus and Spanish textbooks and lock eyes with me…as I check out my own butt. It’s like a Calvin Klein commercial in black and white with slightly opened mouths and olive skin. “NARCISSISM” would appear on the screen at the end in grainy black or gray Times New Roman font.
Or “DIGRESSION” even. I’ve eluded my own train of thought.
There are certain things that I thought one was supposed to do in college (or at least I expected myself to do in college) that I just forgot to do. I had too many papers to write, interviews to go to, letters of recommendation to ask for. I was busy at a meeting and suddenly forgot that the four years I was promised would slip through my fingers…like sand…in a Calvin Klein commercial for Eternity.
I’m being silly here, but I feel sad, too. I haven’t found the woman who will be the maid of honor at my wedding, provided I don’t forget to do that thing, as well. I completely forgot to study abroad and fall in love with my host brother and buy tons of Coca-Cola tee shirts in the foreign language of the country and wear them all over campus once I returned to the patriate life. I won’t be able to spend any of my time in college acting blase and cosmopolitan (blasmopolitan) when I mention that I have spent extensive time working in Spain (after six weeks of taking remedial Spanish in Barcelona).
At least I have done some things. I did learn to live somewhat on my own? I haven’t decided that yet. I have learned to meet and covet people who like me for who I am. I have dated different people and learned what I do and do not want in a relationship. I have taught at all levels. I have had crappy jobs and more promising leadership positions. I have never bought myself any UT memorabilia. I have written, written, and written some more.
