I used to joke with a friend in high school that some boys appeared to shop at Hoodlums R Us. In Hicktown, USA, wearing boxer-exposing jeans with their knee-chapping crotches was baaaaad. And doing it with an insolent smirk? Totally gangsta. Never mind that the same kid was in Ag class and showed pigs for 4-H. He was from da school of da hard knocks, yo. (Not merely Odem High School).
Now I know the kids at I.S. 666 have most of my old classmates beat. They can outcurse, outargue, outscream, outfight, outkill, outdriveteacherstosuicide, umm, I mean, some of them are baaaaad as in terrible, dangerous, scary. They are extremely immature emotionally, but think they’re grown. Many of them were pushed into X-rated worlds long ago.
I wrote this parody of the Toys R Us jingle for some of my peeps at I.S. 666. It’s supposed to be funny?:
I don’t wanna grow up,
dat’s some crazy wack shit.
Instead, I want some guns and knives
dat I can play wit.
Platinum chains, violent video games -
dem’s the greatest things dat they is!
I don’t wanna grow up,
though I have kids.
I don’t want no mo
crazy wack shit!
