Alexus sneezes a powerful, snot wringing sneeze. I motion to the box of Kleenex on the table behind Bernice.
Me: Bernice, can you get some Kleenex for Alexus?
Bernice: Huh?
Me: KLEENEX. For Alexus. It’s behind you.
Bernice: Oh! I thought you said “penis”!
The whole advisory freezes, and then begins to twitter. Bernice senses she’s being laughed at, and immediately becomes defensive. She puffs out her chest.
Bernice: What? You never eat penis before?!
I bite my bottom lip and feel my eyes bouncing around like pinballs off of spring-loaded paddles. Everyone besides Bernice is silent, until Alexus has an epiphany.
Alexus: Oh! Bernice said “peanuts”!
That is AMAZING.
Bernice is the coolest.