10. Bedskirts are absolutely essential. Anyone who doesn’t have a bedskirt is a filthy individual you oughta steer clear of.
9. There is a big difference between being a mama and being a mother.
8. Macaroni and cheese is a food group. Same with biscuits.
7. Everytime you listen to Eiffel 65’s “Blue (Da Ba Dee),” you lose three IQ points.
6. “Groceries” is actually pronounced “gershrees.” Don’t let that ‘o’ fool you.
5. Thrift stores are the first place you should go for housing accessories.
4. The best movies are about serial killers and strong women. The best books are about forensic psychologists.
3. Tivo is the best thing since sliced bread…or canned biscuits.
2. “I don’t care how old/much taller than me you are, little girl, I will spank your butt right here if you don’t stop!”
1. You can do anything you want to, and there are people who will help you do it. Clear your voice, stop thinking, and go for it.
Happy Mother’s Day!
