Night before 24

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Tomorrow is my birthday, but a few people have wished me a happy one today, a few days ago, last week. It makes me feel like maybe I’m the one with the date wrong, but I checked the official paperwork, and tomorrow is the day.

I’m turning 24, and I’m not excited enough to tell very many people, but I’m not casual enough to not smart when few people seem to care. Of the people who care, almost no one has gotten the date right. I know my mom, dad, and sister back in Texas care from many miles away, but I’m lonely when I walk down the sidewalk and realize that a surly postal office stands between me and the card that will ultimately reduce me to tears. Of nostalgia? Homesickness? The knowledge that I won’t always get a birthday card, not forever, and I know it means nothing and everything to me?

Tomorrow is also the last day of school back home. It’s the day that the nerdy kids finally get theirs, cheesy medals given out for every academic subject, attendance, and character. The day I always had the spotlight on me for doing something besides “acting like a total dyke” or saying something nerdily offensive in biology. It always struck me as odd that my birthday was usually on, or right before, the last day of school. That was the thing I was best at, the thing I would do every day of my life, if I could.

So tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’m a year older. My body holds no more surprises of blossoming. I will not grow taller, but I’m hoping for wiser. Maybe when I’m 25 or 28 or 34, maybe then I will know something that eludes me now.

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