10. Gray is the best color, because it has few variations. There is light gray and there is dark gray. There is no turquoise gray.
9. Fart sounds do nothing but enhance our daily lives. Real farts, though, are an entirely different animal.
8. I’d better get a good education, because a hard day’s work (outside) and a cool glass of water would bury me.
7. There’s no better place to open up than on the open road with the radio off, the stars bright, and a pile of luggage in the back seat.
6. You don’t have to know what “homemade hell” is to know that it’s really bad to be uglier than it.
5. “Kiss me, sponge” is a universal endearment.
4. Shooting a b.b. gun at the neighbor’s cat is okay, as long as his or her cat beats the crap out of your cat.
3. He’s always available in long distance phone calls, person, or spirit to shoot the breeze, save the day, or just listen.
2. “Don’t think I won’t spank your butt right here, in front of God and everyone!”
1. It’s not where you start, but where you finish.
Happy Father’s Day!
