Today:
1. I turned in a piece of writing that’s my ticket to promotion land.
2. The fruit man made me a fruit salad I had to turn down. Damn those cursed citrus fruits on my poor, irritable bladder.
3. TBID and I saw “Spring Awakening.” I found it completely overhyped.
Tomorrow:
1. I’m tutoring for the first time in almost a week. It felt like a much-needed vacation.
2. Time Warner will be getting their cable box and modem back, because I’ve got too much of a life (and am too cheap) to pay for 40 unwatched channels. I will, however, miss watching sleazy E! True Hollywood Story episodes.
3. I will possibly be making a large sign that says, “Hey Usher, ‘You Make Me Wanna…’”
Friday:
1. I will possibly be on Good Morning America waving a sign that says, “Hey Usher, ‘You Make Me Wanna…’”
2. My efforts will be scattered as a dandelion in a strong gust of wind.
3. Life Coach wants me to find a bootlegged version of Sex and the City, as he doesn’t want to deal with all the yentas that are going to be in the theatre.
Yenta? You’re not a New York Jew, stop trying to sound like one.
Now, now. Don’t be a schmuck.