1. Before I went out last night, I was blaring soulful music as per usual. I think it started with some Amy Winehouse and Nina Simone. Soon, I heard the neighbor next door turn the volume up on her stereo. John Legend, Al Green, Joss Stone. Every song she played was one I either own or have heard. They were some of my favorite tunes.
Does she realize how much she and I might have in common if she could just get over the sound of my footsteps?
2. On Friday, I saw Amanda from America’s Next Top Model. Remember the one many seasons back who was going blind (but not really) and consulted healing crystals and had the long dyed blonde hair? She’s a brunette now. I didn’t see any crystals on her, but she looked blissed out.
Why is it that modeling competition losers are the only people I ever recognize? I could pass Heidi Klum on the street and all I’d think is, “Wow. She looks like someone I’ve seen before. And such a perky lilt in her voice.”
3. My parents send me incredible care packages every few months. There’s always something surprising, like soups in a receptacle you use for heating and eating. Or Fruit Roll-Ups that cure constipation and brush your teeth for you.
I resort to the grocery store only for milk, cereal, frozen food, and produce. It worries my mom. I know she still loves me, though, because she sent me gummy vitamins. Gummy vitamins! Where have these been all my life? If anyone has any intelligence on any gummy pharmaceuticals coming out, do let me know. I think gummy Viagra would be like a Swedish Fish.
Oops. In the time in took me to type this, I just ate a week’s worth of vitamin C, zinc, and echinacea.
Since you live in NY and I frequent LA we should compare our list of reality show castaways we’ve seen in reality.