Does anyone know that horrible song called something like “Christmas, Where Are You?” It’s probably playing at your local slow-paced pharmacy right now. Basically, it’s about this woman with exactly four brain cells who is looking for Christmas, but can’t seem to find it. She starts just outright asking the holiday where it is, hence the title.
I listen to it while I eat lunch at the deli sometimes, rolling my eyes and thinking, “It’s December 25th. Always. Damn girl, get a calendar.”
Also, It’s got vocal acrobatics so bad Celine Dion would think it sucks.
I was trying to explain to TBID the extent of the song’s awfulness, and he tried to say that all Christmas music is terrible.
Not so! I like Alvin and the Chipmunks songs, “Silver Bells,” and I guess that’s it for now. Maybe you have suggestions. I’d shake my booty to anything that sounds Motown enough.
TBID finally admitted that there is one awesomely salvageable Christmas song. I hadn’t even heard it until recently. Maybe because I’ve been busy trying to get “Christmas, Where Are You?” out of my head by boxing my ears and shrieking.
Advil, where are you?
The soundtrack to “A Charlie Brown x-mass” is pretty amazing. also this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OUNjgrNtZ8
you know this whole album is pretty great:
http://www.amazon.com/John-Waters-Christmas-Various-Artists/dp/B00065GHWE
it is what my fam has on during our very jewish x-mass.
I’m pretty sure “Christmas Where Are You” was from How The Grinch Stole Christmas - they did a live action one a few years back. I think Faith Hill sang it.
It was from the How The Grinch Stole Christams. It is supposed to be from the point of view of Cindy Lou Who after there is no Christmas in Whoville. I get the song but it still doesn’t make it sound better.
I never understood why Xmas songs were so retarded. I know there was one song a few years ago, something about a red shoe and a kid’s Mom dying of cancer. I swear I’m not making that up - but I can’t remember what it was called. When I used to hear it, it made me depressed, not joyous. Xmas is Jesus’ birthday, hearing about people dying only makes me resent Jesus even more. Way to go, writer of the “red shoe-cancer” song.
We should start a Xmas song band where we just sing about boozing on Xmas Eve, selling presents for cash on eBay, and fun stuff like that.
ps: I’m sorry if my use of the word retarded offends you or any of your readers. I believe I am mildly retarded so it’s totally okay for me to use it.
Well, there are some pretty cool songs and some not so cool songs for Christmas.
How about “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”? Loved that one in college until I heard it so much that I hated it.
I love the Muppets “12 Days of Christmas” song.
In my preschool we play so many Christmas songs that I have heard these songs dumbed down for little kids.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks some Christmas music is less than stellar. I have to admit that I once thought Jeff Foxworthy’s “12 Redneck Days of Christmas” was clever and knew all the words. The follies of my youth…
Sherri, I’d love to do a Christmas song band or at least collaborate on an article about Christmas music (the good, the bad, and the ugly) for Revolt…