Two days ago, I found out that someone I grew up with died.
This boy was a classmate of mine for years, the son of my theater arts teacher. He always got first place at the science fair, and I got second.
He was the only boy who asked me to dance at the first dance in sixth grade. This was when he briefly liked me, before he began a passionate romance with a girl named Sabrina who was taller than him. I went to the other dances the rest of the year, never got asked to dance, and then stopped attending.
He also went with me on my first trip to NYC. There’s a picture of us somewhere. I’m sitting on the famous statue of Balto in Central Park, and he’s standing beside me with his arms outstretched. I remember showing the picture to a friend who said, “Ooh! He likes you!”
After the summer between seventh and eighth grades, he came to school a man. To this day, I’ve never seen abdominal muscles like that on a real person.
In high school, he’d spit aluminum foil balls at me through a straw. He eventually moved to another school where his mom took a counseling job.
We last spoke on the phone in the first days of our freshman year of college. His school was a half-hour away from mine. He told me that I looked good in the graduation announcements in the newspaper. We made plans to maybe hang out sometime. We never did.
There’s so much I don’t know, including what exactly happened to him. How does someone my age die so suddenly, with so much left unfinished? So much not even started?
I know it happens to everyone. When it happens. How it happens. Life is so precious and fleeting.
I hadn’t thought of him in years, and yet, I feel this loss.
It’s a loss I’ve seen before. I know something of what it sounds like, how it acts.
But I hadn’t thought of it in years.
I remember in college returning from summer break to find out that one of my friends had a tragic accident at her home. She had stepped on a live wire in her barn and died, and her brother died trying so save her. It was such a weird feeling to have said goodbye to her for summer break and then finding out she died.
The older you get, the more that people close to your age will die for reasons that never make sense. One guy I dated in college, married someone else from college, and I found out later on she died of ovarian cancer at 36 with three young children. Treasure those times you had with them, and more importantly, never take this life for granted.
What horrible accidents!
It definitely puts our short time on Earth in perspective when something like this happens.
Thanks for your note, Nancy.
Aww, I’m sorry for your loss. I can relate, unfortunately. I’ve had more than my share of friends pass away too young. It definitely leaves questions [even when you know the cause of death] and you’re right - it puts life into perspective.