I’ve been thinking of things worth waiting for.
I have front burner goals for my life, but they’re nebulous. I guess they’re more like stuff in the kitchen cabinets that flows onto the counter. Then on the floor, down the hall…
They don’t fit in one place.
Because I need to feel like I’m achieving something - even tiny steps in the right direction - I write lists of things I need to do. It feels good when I achieve them. Doing my fiction class homework isn’t actually writing and publishing my first novel, but it’s part of the process.
Everything is.
Today I caught a matinee showing of Precious, a film I’ve been looking forward to for months. Then I went to the store and bought some groceries for next week. After I brought them back to my apartment, I walked about a mile to the swings in Central Park.
Back and forth like a pendulum, I concentrated on a tree nearby. Its leaves are yellow like the promise of a new legal pad. Slow down yellow. Spend wisely, but freely, yellow.
After I left the park, I meandered on the Upper West Side and bought some persimmons from a fruit stand. I just told a friend I’d never tried one before. The persimmons were okay. I found the texture interesting, but they’re not my new favorite fruit or anything.
I guess the point of this is that it feels good to finish waiting for something.
Even if that something is not a big achievement.
Maybe especially when it’s not a lot of work, and it’s just something that I think I’ll enjoy when it’s good and ready to be enjoyed.
On the subway today, I started a mental list of some little things I’ve been waiting for. I’ll share a few of them with you tomorrow.
