In 2008, I gained independence, confidence, experience, and possibly other -ences. Oh, and a snazzier blog!
I lost TBID. Really, I lost a lot of things having to do with him.
I stopped drinking Coke.
I started writing fiction.
I was hugely satisfied by my comedy and fiction classes, friends new and old, Antonioni and Almodovar films, and hours on the swings in Central Park.
And frustrated by how hard it is to figure out where to put my energy.
I am so embarrassed that I… Uh, let’s just say I vomited in the home of someone who’s really wonderful and smart and literary, and it wasn’t in the bathroom. And it was my first time in this person’s home.
Once again, I got nervous and acted glib as a defense mechanism.
Once again, I hung on to something I needed to let go.
The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is I have brown hair. I’ve also decided to flaunt it while I’ve got it and wear much skinnier clothes these days.
The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is I’m more comfortable in my own skin.
I loved spending time laughing with the people I love. (Same as 2008 - this’ll never change).
Why did I spend even two minutes feeling not good enough?
I should have spent more time writing, traveling, and saying yes.
I regret buying a last-minute plane ticket to Chicago that cost more than someone’s ticket to Greece. In order to go to BlogHer! Where I was practically the only woman who’s never breastfed someone! (But I loved Chicago and seeing my friend April).
I will never regret going on a non-date with some strange, sexy British guy who reads my blog and happened to be in NYC. It was the best non-date ever.
I was indecisive way too much. I think.
I didn’t sleep nearly enough.
A summer heartbreak nearly drove me crazy.
The most relaxing place I went was the Wave Swinger at Chicago’s Navy Pier. The weather was perfect. The night sky twinkled with lights. My heart started feeling like it had a door instead of a hole.
Why did I not drop him as soon as he started that indecisive, confused boyfriend schtick? Or at least drop him immediately when I let him back in, and he started doing it a second time? If you don’t know if you wanna be with me, then you don’t wanna be with me.
The best thing I did for someone else was walk with friends through difficult times.
The best thing I did for myself was doing things I’ve always wanted to do, including stand-up comedy and flying trapeze. And spelunking!
The best thing someone did for me was listen to the sadness and laugh at the funny parts.
The one thing I’d like to do again, but do it better, is everything. That’s it. Only everything.
*Fill-in-the-blank template from Mary Schmich at The Chicago Tribune
