Project MAMM: Day 7: Chimichangas gone wrong-as

Mike started this whole gringo-fied Mexican food lunch trend, and I had to continue it. Like him, I bought a rotisserie chicken and started to think about what I could put it inside to make a simple meal.

Then the clouds parted, and a deep voice like that of James Earl Jones, but more judgmental, boomed, “Chimichangassssss….”

Umm… Okay.

I found a recipe online and skimmed. Then I got distracted while skimming and hastily surmised that a chimichanga is basically a knock-off empanada.

Not true! Please refer to the hyperlinks for the difference: chimichangas vs. empanadas. This may be on Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? someday, and even Jeff Foxworthy knows the answer. Try not to embarrass yourself for once.

So I bought a lot of cheese, chicken, tortillas, and taco seasoning. I skimmed the directions once again.

I mixed everything together and wrapped it in a tortilla. I don’t know how I missed the deep frying step, but I heated my chimichangas up and thought, “Isn’t this technically a quesadilla?”

Will the real Mexican food pocket please stand up? I shrugged and packed some salsa verde and Doritos. (I couldn’t find a small bag of plain tortilla chips).

By lunchtime, I realized my error. This food was supposed to be way more unhealthy. I wanted to compensate for the soft texture by using the toaster oven in the office, but Mike wasn’t having it. Mike, the gym-goer, didn’t want to walk upstairs to ensure the chimiwrongas had some crunch.

That’s the thing about people who go to the gym regularly - they always take the escalator and walk to the train car nearest their exit. Meanwhile, I haven’t broken a sweat since 2007, but I almost did that time I took the stairs.

Mike said lunch was tasty, if not actually good, but I was overwhelmed by the squishy, cheesy mess. Had I opened my mouth and breathed on a vegan, he or she would’ve spontaneously combusted in horror.

I decided to save the day with a photo shoot. Mike is a favorite subject, as he knows how to wear jeans with crotch holes, instead of letting jeans with crotch holes wear him.

Make love to the camera, Mike. It won’t be difficult.