It comes in waves

Heat like this comes in waves.

The people on the streets look wrung out. Strangers snarl at each other on public transportation. Islands of garbage rot in the sun. It’s really best to stay at home and lose your pants.

If your apartment’s larger than a studio (lucky you), you might have two window air conditioners. One of them becomes your iron lung. The other stays off until you’re forced to change rooms. You’re afraid to run them at the same time. That sort of thing could blow a fuse, especially if you live in Brooklyn. Or it could be the final switching on that leads to a citywide blackout.

When you live in NYC, you don’t hang out at your friends’ apartments very much – you’ll never even know the exact address of most of them. But of the friends you visit, you’ll notice who has the best air conditioning. How could you not?

This is the friend you’re most likely to hook up with one random summer night. There will be ice cream and tank tops and you won’t stickily pull away when his or her leg brushes yours.

It’ll be so on. Mostly, I mean the air conditioner.

If you don’t find yourself on some once platonic couch in July, if you’re dating someone, the quest for climate control could end your relationship. The person with a ceiling fan always has a gross bathroom or roommates or both. The apartment with the better air conditioning’s in a building with hallways that smell like feet. Or you know, it’s the apartment of your friend you hooked up with last summer, the one who maybe should’ve just stayed your friend.

Whatever you do, it’s hot. It can’t get cool enough – not alone or with someone else. If you had the time to sit at the movies all day, you would. But there are people who already beat you to it. So it’s crowded and smelly and hot there, too. There’s really nothing better to do than whatever you’ve been doing. And anyway, it’ll pass.

Like it? Share it!
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google
  • E-mail this story to a friend!
  • Fark
  • Kirtsy
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace
  • Print this article!
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Yahoo! Buzz

Related Posts

  1. You have what I look for, what I long for, what I love
  2. Which makes me a very picky casting director
  3. An August I can appreciate
  4. A notice from the management
  5. Independence Day
  6. Yes, Virginia, NYC is a cesspool
  7. If you see something

6 Comments

  1. It’ll pass and then you’ll have a lovely autumn which–in my state–lasts for approximately eight days. And then it’s winter.

  2. Ryan Stevens says:

    I hear you, hon.

    Missouri heat is awful, but it’s not as bad as Texas. I still can’t stand it. I need to move to a northern state that’s perpetually cool.

  3. Annabel says:

    I just passed through NYC in the heat and PHEWEEE it was immense – your post is HILLARIOUS. Love it, will follow you and pretend that I live in NY… (actually 3000 miles away in the UK… ho hum)

  4. Lol, this is really funny. I’ve certainly stayed way longer at some apartments because I didn’t want to get out of the AC. =) I’ve also gone out on dates just because I promised some of the best gelato in the city!

  5. elizabeth says:

    Hello there my name is elizabeth, I happen to run into your blog and found it interesting.
    I am currently a student in borough of manhattan community collage studying for video production. I was just wondering if you would be available sometime next week to make a small documentary of your experiences here in NY. This will be a student film therefore no salary will be available, but it can be a fun experience! let me know if you are interested and which days you will be available for next week.

    Thank you for your time
    Best, Liz

    elibattle22@yahoo.com

  6. Anonymous says:

    r u thrity now

Leave a Reply