I’m Amanda. I’ve got wide eyes, a smart mouth, and a MetroCard. And I’m not afraid to use them.
My co-worker Samson is a bit of an oddball. He was born in Nigeria, and then went to boarding school in London and college in upstate New York. Now he’s a reformed skirt chaser in NYC.
We go to lunch a few times a week and find ourselves - and sometimes eavesdroppers - cackling at the banter back and forth.
And then there are the IM conversations.
I don’t look at the analytics on my blog too often, as I tend to forget I have access to them. And then I forgot how I have access to them. Which password is it? Is it the one that has to have at least one number?
Oh God, now it’s asking me for the name of my school. I went to a lot of them. Uh. How did I answer this fours years ago?
Jesus. What did I even look like four years ago?
Anyway, I looked at the analytics over the long weekend. I was curious about the keywords that were bringing new people here, and oh my God, you people are sick. Please keep visiting.
These are some real searches that brought people to my blog:
Technological innovation is led by porn. Anyone who knows anything about the Internet will tell you this.
Those barely legal schoolgirls who ride the guy who drives the short bus are early adopters.
The skanks were the first to get an iPhone back when it was really expensive, and no one could get over the touchscreen. Trust.
So of course random porn followers are on Twitter. Sometimes they have regular names and then you look at their accounts and dude, the avatar is a vulva.
There’s nothing too unique about my NYC story.
I visited for the first time when I young and impressionable and barely giving my training bra a workout.
Like many people from small towns where everyone knows everyone (and probably also that person’s brother and no good cousin Petey), I was blown away.
This city full of bustling strangers, culture, both history and the future, this is where I’d live someday when I grew up.
Maybe by then I’d have boobs, too.
Here’s a question from Luisa:
It’s the start of our session. I’m eating a piece of cake Jing’s mom brought me, and Jing’s giving me a recap of the latest happenings at school.
Report cards come up. Jing mentions that she never sat out in gym all grading period, but she still got a lower grade. I ask if girls don’t swim when they have their periods. She nods.
Then she drops a bombshell.
“Empire State of Mind” has become this ubiquitous tune I hear everywhere. It’s all over the radio, being sung in subway cars, implanting itself in my brain.
Normally, I’d burn out, but I’m still digging it. Alicia Keys has her own version, which I got to hear live when I went to a Late Show with David Letterman taping.
It was wow.
New Yorkers have a reputation for being unfriendly. This isn’t news to anyone.
And that stereotype? Sometimes true. People are busy and gruff sometimes. Many come here to “make it” in some capacity and only look out for themselves.
I moved to NYC with exactly zero friends or family members waiting for me. I didn’t worry about loneliness, because I’ve always been independent and to put it nicely, blunt.
But even the snarkiest introverts need someone to love them. I mean, especially those types. A cactus needs sunshine. You get where I’m going?
Here’s a question from Lisette:
I’m really moved by all the social media talk of helping Haiti today. It’s all over blogs, Twitter, Facebook, the Internet at large.
This is the point of living online.
It’s the beginning of a new decade, a time to think of where we are and where we want to get. It’s also simply the beginning of a new year. This January, we vow to be more accomplished, less fat, or whatever the case may be.
And I’ve coined it the Year of the Ass. Because so far in 2010, I’ve felt like ass.
Life has been one pain in the ass. Actually, many. Many pains on one pale, grumpy ass. Some would say I’m even acting like an ass.
So yeah.
I’ve decided to make next week an Ask Amanda Asktravaganza. Old questions shall be answered once and for all!
So if there’s something you’d like to ask, now is an excellent time to do so through the contact form. I’ll try to answer it this week or next.
You can also ask anonymous questions at formspring.me.
