I’m Amanda. I’ve got wide eyes, a smart mouth, and a MetroCard. And I’m not afraid to use them.
I’ve been meaning to do some kind of media entry for awhile, but I’ve been spending most of my time and energy being antsy, scrambling around at work, and of course, dutch oven-ing myself. (That’s for Stacey). 1) is really long-winded, I know, so you may want to wait until you’re at work to read it.
1. I want to get something off my chest right here and right now. I am Dannielynn’s father. The resemblance is undeniable and I’m willing to do a DNA test. Also? My rent’s coming up. So let’s settle this asap.
1. Anna Nicole Smith died, and I’m embarrassed to say I was in my classroom after school with a co-worker when I found out. “Ohmigod! Anna Nicole Smith is dead!” I exclaimed. I never was a fan of the trainwreck, but wow, I can’t stop sympathizing.
1. This emailed anecdotal from a co-worker:
Both of these students were completely off task during French. I sat at their table and graded papers. The entire class, they talked to each other, complained loudly how wack the school was, griped at each other, did not follow along with the lesson, and tapped their pens. When the rest of their table was doing a good job and not feeding into them, they began talking to themselves. Not to each other, but literally talking to themselves. At one point I even asked Bernice who she was talking to. She just hissed and rolled her eyes. While Kenyon was reading they both talked over him. DaShawn at one point was removed, but came back worse. DaShawn banged on the table, kicked the table, and complained about everything very loudly. They were in their own world and did not follow anyone’s directions. Bernice will serve a removal for Monday in addition to tomorrow and DaShawn will serve a removal for tomorrow.
1. Two signs I’m becoming soft in my old age:
A. I started crying last week during an episode of Dr. 90210. No, it was not when the guy got a reduction surgery on his scrotal web. I hadn’t even meant to watch the show. I was just flipping through the channels, and suddenly there was knock-kneed Hayley Rey, wife of Dr. Robert Rey, weeping hysterically. Turns out, the couple’s beloved chihuahua suddenly died. I started thinking of the fleeting nature of existence and how someday I’ll lose my pudgy Abby, who is more of a sister than a pet to me. Big, hot tears ensued. My bawling crescendoed when Hayley and Dr. Rey eulogized the chihuahua during burial at a pet cemetery. I was snotty and red-eyed for over an hour.
I recently checked out four books from the New York Public Library - a daunting amount for someone who adheres to a schedule of teaching middle school Reading and being obsessed with Project Runway and America’s Next Top Model - but I finished all of them about a week before the due date.
1. I loved this sign when I saw it in front of a lovely period home-cum-inn in New Hope. Forget world peace (or the “whirled peas” of bumper sticker fame)…
2. While stirring the bubbling Hamburger Helper in my kitchen two nights ago (hi, I’m cheap and can’t cook), Cade noticed that the box now includes tips for our friends cooking at high altitudes:
3. There are times when I still can’t believe I’m dating someone who says “hoagies” with a straight face.
4. I dropped my laundry off at the laundromat yesterday morning and let the professionals deal with it. Holy clean towels, Batman! Best housekeeping decision EVER! My clothes aren’t damp, shrunken, or stained. The clothes were folded in perfect, unwrinkled stacks I could automatically place in the drawer. From now on, a strange man washes my underwear, and then separates it into thong and brief stacks.
1. A leering, drunken man clinging to the fence around the schoolyard and yelling at the first graders to come talk to him? Check! A second grader twisting on the jungle gym in such a way that the whole school knows she isn’t wearing underpants? Check! I still have one more day of recess duty for the week? Check.
1. On my way to the library yesterday, I ran into a former co-worker. I never really worked with the guy, but all of the new people ostensibly socialized during professional development or in line for the copier. Former Co-worker told me there were eleven new teachers, but said that school got off to a smoother start than last year: “We only had to wait three days for our schedules!” Wait. Just wait. Former Co-worker wasn’t optimistic that the calm would last.
10. This summer, I’ve begun to ride MTA city buses rather than take the subway. Sometimes it’s because a bus will drop me off right at a destination, instead of a few blocks away. Sometimes, it’s because I’m walking and a bus just pulls up and I don’t have to coyly ask, “Going my way?” I know it is, so I get on. I’ve seen ridiculous, albeit interesting, things happen on subways - people rolling joints, drunken ensembles singing showtunes, men in verbal altercations with rival gang members. Bus riders are more sedate. It’s also incredibly hot on subway platforms in the summer, and I don’t need to swelter any more than I already do. I still love the subway system, but I implore ye, “Take the bus!”
