Posts under ‘Conserved Conversations’

Me, I’m feeling more parabolic

Cade and I are complaining about how neither of us have slept very well in recent days.

Me, I’m feeling more parabolic

Because men are from Mars?

The host of the comedy show takes the stage to introduce the next comic. He scans the room, looking for something to say, and sees an elderly woman has joined the group of people on the front right side of the room.

Host: Yeah… Oh, hey! You’re new here, aren’t you?

Because men are from Mars?

It’s just motion taking me over

I’m having a quick conference with Sal, one of my most charming, if confused, students.

Me: Sal, do you know what text you’re going to choose for your fluency assessment? You’re going to have to read it out loud.

It’s just motion taking me over

Bad words

My dad overhears my cousin Jessica, age three, say she hates something.

Bad words

That tricky speed impediment

Alexus sneezes a powerful, snot wringing sneeze. I motion to the box of Kleenex on the table behind Bernice.

That tricky speed impediment

Her mom got an F in sex

I silently pass out the information session pamphlet entitled “Sex Education For Your Child” to my Advisory students, anticipating the instant face-cortorting reactions.

Her mom got an F in sex

Hope they like whales in jail

In the magical box above the newscaster’s right shoulder, a mug shot appears.

Hope they like whales in jail

Love or maybe a fart

Him: Wanna hang out tonight?

Me: I dunno. Do you?

Him: Yeah.

Me: Again?

Him: Yeah. Lately all these extra warm and fuzzy feelings for you are bubbling inside me.

Love or maybe a fart

A vocabulary lesson

I start to write on the board.

Me: Let’s learn a new word.

A vocabulary lesson

Deaf and dumb

Asim enters the classroom before school starts. He is a thirteen-year-old built like a refrigerator, and a gentle giant for the most part. His ipod earbuds plug up his ears.

Deaf and dumb