I’m Amanda. I’ve got wide eyes, a smart mouth, and a MetroCard. And I’m not afraid to use them.
Alas, no inclusion of “waiting on line,” instead of “waiting in line,” but I say a lot of this.
If you’re still into “Shit ___________ Say,” check out my contribution, Shit Shiksas Say. It’s a joint project with a TV writer friend from L.A.
Can you tell which tweets are from a Jewish guy and which are from an actual shiksa?
But this makes me feel better about it.
Okay, I guess it’s not that bad.
Which do you like better?
The Band of Horses original?
Improv Everywhere can just stop its antics now. I’m not sure the group can do anything better than this Bryant Park carousel horse race. It’s amazing.
Costumed race patrons, announcers, and a jockey went to the Bryant Park carousel for the mission. But the real stars are the delighted children. They’re surprised, but they just go with it. It makes me tear up every time.
I’ve never been one to romanticize childhood. I would never want to be a kid again. I wouldn’t mind thinking more like one, though.
When you’re an adult, you have to strain to see the magic. When you’re a child, it’s just there. You don’t have all the explanations yet, so you make up your own. You’re two or three or four feet of raw feeling. No wonder you anthropomorphize everything.
I remember doing word searches in elementary school, imagining the two, three, or four columns of words underneath the puzzle to be separate teams. Who would win first place? I struggled to make it fair. I didn’t want any team to consider forfeiting.
It took me ages to finish one of those things.
I guess the point of this is that we all can stand to be more like the kids in this video. And the adults who stayed in character and made it happen.
Giddy up and play along.
Some of you may know that Beyoncé is my spirit animal.
Her new album, 4, recently dropped after leaking and well, this is all sounding kind of gross right about now.
But it’s not. It was time for a new Beyoncé album, especially after that last disappointment that harbored “Single Ladies.” I never liked that song, and yes, I wish I could dance to it.
My favorite of Bey’s albums is B’day, which came out around 25 years ago. One of the best songs on it is “Irreplaceable,” a sassy, vengeful song about a man who cheated on his woman and can just move his shit “to the left, to the left” for all she cares.
When I’m not securing my place in hell, I’m also amused by less offensive things.
Exhibit A:
!!!!!!! [BESTIE x BESTIE 1] !!!!!!! from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.
When you put on headphones, the world turns into a music video. NYC’s the perfect place to do this, because people here are so unpredictable. Yesterday, I was minding my own headphoned business and exiting the subway station when I saw one woman angrily chuck a ball of paper at another.
The paper ball thrower was angry that the other woman bumped into her kid at the subway station. The kid, meanwhile, was fine and not splayed on the tracks or anything.
People bump each other all the time. Kids don’t look where they’re going, and parents often don’t watch their kids. So the world turns.
And the woman who had the paper ball thrown at her? Much smaller and younger than the other woman. Of course.
I hate to stereotype but I’ve found the people who are most defensive of their offspring on the subway platform are also the most likely to scream and slap them once they get on the train.
I really enjoy the cleverly orchestrated fun of Improv Everywhere.
Their most recent prank was to mute and unmute a noisy city scene at the northern entrance of Brooklyn’s Prospect Park.
I wouldn’t mind having the power to do this myself, but I guess that’s what headphones are for.
What you call love is just urgency.
What you call love is a place you turn in an emergency.
Would you give up when it’s not what you want it to be?
Well that’s not love, what you call love.
Agree or no?
I have mixed feelings, but I like the song.
Man, oh man, was it nice to discover a new Sassy Gay Friend video today. For Great Expectations, too - Miss Havisham is full of the lolz.
I think Brian Gallivan, the man behind Sassy Gay Friend, is hilarious, so I have no problem with him making money off these videos. And I really like that he stayed in character when he said he was getting paid for endorsing MiO without some pseudo-earnest “I’d only endorse products that are just as sassy as me” schtick.
“P.S. It’s not vintage if you’ve been wearing it since it wasn’t.”
