Not sure if you know, but I was once a big Shakespeare nerd. My degree required it. Every English major had to take an in-depth Shakespeare class, and I took mine with this incredible British scholar who lived for the Bard. She was Bard to the bone.
I read a lot of Shakespeare. Then I wrote a lot of papers - at least one a week. Lemme tell you, it feels really good to get Shakespeare, and anyone can if they read closely. After that class, I overcame the doubt that sometimes told me my analysis of literature would never be smart or interesting or unique enough.
Then I took a class that required reading a lot of Gertrude Stein and I was back to where I started. I hated reading Gertrude Stein.
Anyway, what if Shakespeare’s doomed heroines had a sassy gay friend? My kingdom for a hilarious stereotype!
I’ve changed a lot since college. Loosened up. Started procrastinating. Abandoned the pursuit of A’s, straight or gay. (Do you know how many gay men I’ve pined for in my life? The number is staggering).
Here’s how I haven’t changed since college: I still live in a small, noisy space among a bunch of strangers. They also smoke a lot of the Mary Jane.
It’s so much nicer to say “No, thanks” now than “As your RA, I’m going to have to call the campus police, who will be here in 45 minutes. Enjoy eating your stash while I’m uptight on the other side of the door.”
You know, I haven’t thought about college in a long time. I should try that again sometime.
Here’s a question from Amanda T.:
My name is Amanda, too! I’m from Dallas, and I came across your site when I was looking up dorms at UT Austin. I can see from an older post that you attended there? I will be attending this fall and was wondering what dorm you stayed in, and if you could tell me anything about the other dorms. Moore-Hill is my first choice, only because my roommate picked it as hers. Thanks!
Last night I saw Sex and the City 2. I’m telling you this, because carrying the shame in silence cannot be good. I want you to all know that this is a safe space, and you’re free to admit that you saw the movie, too. No questions asked. I’m just glad you’re here now.
But if you really do want to know, it wasn’t my intention to see Carrie Bradshaw: The Haunting. The person I went to the movies with is a guy who lives in a world 15 minutes slower than mine. He has to be broken of this, and I knew just what might do it.
I read a review of Sex and the City 2 awhile back that basically said, “Yeah, it’s a terrible romantic comedy. But it’s a pretty good work of science fiction!” I kept toying with a mad lib train of thought as I watched. “Sex and the City is like __________ for women,” I thought.
This isn’t breaking news or anything, but R. Kelly is out of his damn mind.
And I can’t get enough.
It started with “Trapped In The Closet.” Then I was obsessed with “I’m A Flirt.” When I was feeling low, I’d think of the video with Kels rocking those diamond-encrusted sunglasses that make him look like a mosquito.
Now there’s another R. Kelly song that’s so bad it’s good. “Pregnant” is ridiculously sexist with lyrical gems, like, “Never felt nothing like this. She’s more than a mistress, enough to handle my business. Now put that girl in my kitchen.”
I just stumbled on the ad below during a random search for writing gigs on Craigslist. It can’t be real, but I’d love to play along in a series of more and more bizarre emails.
I am a 23 year old single male. I am attending Borough of Manhattan Community College. I am taking the English class. I have failed English class three times at my college. I am taking the English class very seriously. I prefer young sexy single blonde female to help me but I accept any female. I will be open up to a relationship with you later on. I need emotional support right now since I am attending a new school and I have not many friends yet. If you are interested, please email me or call me at 646-402-2740.
When I was a kid, my dad decided to get a private pilot’s license. It was something he’d always wanted to do. My mom was off the nights he had his class.
Sometimes we’d all pile in the car and my mom, sister, and I would spend those few hours visiting my grandmother in a nearby town while I imagined my dad sat at a squeaky desk in a room that smelled like sawdust.
I was told not to mention to anyone outside our home that my dad was learning how to fly an airplane.
I took this great Rhetoric and Composition class one semester of college. Our first assignment was to write an “idiot letter” that was absurd, yet convincing enough that a corporation would reply without a form letter. I wrote Hostess and got not only an A for my effort, but also Twinkie coupons.
I still get great ideas for “idiot letters.” Over a year ago - maybe even longer - I was telling someone how much I hated the Boar’s Head deli meat logo. If you aren’t familiar, here’s a picture:
My subway read this week was the evolutionary psychology book Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters by Alan Miller and Satoshi Kanazawa. Its basic premise is that humans are really not so advanced - in fact, our brains haven’t evolved since the Stone Age - and that reproductive fitness is still what drives us. Most women have no trouble mating, whereas many men have to go to lengths to woo wombs. Attractive members of both sexes are at an advantage. Surprise! That’s when the authors go into explaining sex as the motivation for everything men do, from being a terrorist to a deadbeat dad to an entrepreneur.
There’s a low of five degrees today, and a woman gets off the 2 train with no hat, gloves, or scarf. An older man offers her some space under his umbrella, and she graciously accepts.
