I remember the first time I shopped at H&M on a trip to NYC. The chain doesn’t exist in Texas, so when I wore my new, affordable duds, everyone asked where I got them.
And you know what I said?
I said they were from Sweden.
Posts under ‘Work’
Project MAMM: Day 4: Tuna for two
Project MAMM marches on, though the last few weeks have been difficult for Mike and me to coordinate due to scheduling and laziness and the love child of them both - procrastination.
And you know who’s been the bigger advocate of the program? I don’t want to say I’m the more committed member of the team or anything, but yeah. I’m Tiger-Woods-in-a-sex-addiction-treatment-center committed.
Minus the disappointed, ass-kicking wife.
Actually, I’m also my own disappointed, ass-kicking wife.
Project MAMM: Day 3: Orange you glad you inhaled that chocolate bar for breakfast?
My body’s going through some tough stuff this week. You may have read about it in a Judy Blume book or five back in the day.
My estrogen-heavy internal organs are getting divorced. Or maybe they’re feuding friends who miss bonding over training bras and secret crushes.
All I know is I’m so cranky, I could cut a bitch. And so ravenous, I would probably then eat said bitch. With that leftover Manchego cheese in my refrigerator.
Project MAMM: Day 2: Your third-grade lunch, except with Manchego cheese
After Mike kicked off Project MAMM, I started getting nervous. Eating food my friend prepared for me was a great idea. Having to reciprocate without giving anyone salmonella poisoning? Tricky.
I don’t know how to cook. It wasn’t something I intended not to learn - it just happened. Well, didn’t happen.
But I know how to clean most surfaces and decorate a living room, so Martha Stewart hasn’t killed me. Yet.
The easiest option for my turn at lunch was sandwiches. I envisioned something like the kind my mom once made me, except maybe with more than just ham in them. (I was a picky eater). I also decided to pass on the Capri Sun and ever-constipating fruit snacks made with strawberry-flavored rubber.
Snow breaks
NYC got something like eight inches of snow today. School was cancelled, shops closed, sidewalks salted.
I could’ve worked from home like many of my co-workers, but there’s something you may not already know: Precipitation does not kill me.
While many people apparently chap walking two blocks from the subway to the office in cold weather, I don’t. I also manage not to slip on slush, fall through a subway grate, and freeze into a giant popsicle to be nibbled by rats.
Perhaps it’s my unattractive down coat?
Or maybe I’m just one of the chosen.
Project MAMM: Day 1: Pasta and hummus with a side of food coma
I work in the Financial District, home of thieving Wall Street fat cats and really bad Chinese food.
You can opt for a martini and steak lunch at a few famous restaurants, but those are fancy places for jowly men in suits. A typical workday involves scrounging at one of 3,452 delis with interchangeable lukewarm food bars, a greasy fast food joint, or the random hole in the wall.
I enjoy leaving my desk as much as the next person, but lunch offerings are pretty bleak.
My friend and co-worker Mike recently came up with a plan: We could each choose one day a week to bring lunch from home for the both of us and then eat it in one of the public plazas near our office.
Genius, right? Yet I felt one little nugget of worry - Mike had asked me to participate. Me, secretary-at-arms of the I Screw Up Microwave Popcorn League.
If the shoehorn fits
My co-worker Samson is a bit of an oddball. He was born in Nigeria, and then went to boarding school in London and college in upstate New York. Now he’s a reformed skirt chaser in NYC.
We go to lunch a few times a week and find ourselves - and sometimes eavesdroppers - cackling at the banter back and forth.
And then there are the IM conversations.
One of those weeks
This last week has been busy. Lemme sum it up all easy-like.
Whimsy while you work
My current job is the best one I’ve had since college. I may dread the commute or getting out a warm bed, but I never dread having to go to work.
It helps that I have some wonderful co-workers. Also, I read and write and talk to people all day. I feel confident doing these things, yet they still make me grow.
But even now, sometimes I get in this mindset where I start thinking the days are really long and tiring.
Shaggy Steve strikes again
Well, strikes out.
After the first time I wrote about Shaggy Steve, I heard from a woman who also met him at a social event.
She reacted much like I did, asking herself “What the fuck was that?!” and turning to Google.
I knew she wouldn’t be the last woman to find me this way.
